Thursday, February 28, 2013

Walking Dead Season 3 Gets Ridiculous Limited Edition Packaging




I'm not a Walking Dead fan (love the zombies, don't care for the drama) but as a huge fan of ridiculously elaborate DVD packaging I think this thing is pretty spectacular. 


Though, anyone who buys this might want to display this set somewhere that is nowhere near your other collectibles or any electronic devices. I seem to recall the Ichi The Killer blood pack set being a bit leaky. I'd hate for someone to ruin their collection with a leaky ass Walking Dead case.

Astron-6's Manborg - April 30th





The latest from the Astron-6 team is due out on DVD April 30th from the fine folks at Dark Sky Films. My only exposure to Astron-6 so far was Father's Day, which I enjoyed pretty immensely. A very dark movie but frequently pretty goddamn hilarious. The last scene destroyed me. One of the biggest laughs I had out of all of the 400 movies I watched last year. Probably also the darkest thing I've ever laughed at.

I'll be checking this out as soon as I get a chance.

Burial Ground - Limited Mediabook Blu-Ray!



Limited Edition (1,000 of each cover) Blu-ray coming from Austria in March. It looks like an awesome release of one of the all time best worst zombie movies. It's amazing releases like this that really make me wish I made more money. Well, and it kind of sucks being poor. That's pretty much general knowledge I believe. That's probably the main reason I wish I made more money. Cool crap like this, immediate second.

It's a German release, but there will be English audio. Those interested can get this from from D&T Mailorder. Diabolik will also have this soon.

Extras Include
-Trailer
-Interviews
-Still Gallery
-16-Page Booklet

John Dies At The End Gets Blah DVD Cover

Such a cool poster. Such a blah Blu-Ray cover.

Blah cover aside, you can own this one April 2nd. I was actually a bit let down by this one honestly. I enjoy Don Coscarelli's work, I love Phantasm and I think Bubba Ho-Tep is one of mankind's greatest achievements. I just didn't enjoy this as much as I thought I would have. I think I was so pumped up to see it that my expectations got a little out of hand. Still, not a bad movie or anything.

Dawna the Dead - When there's no more room in hell, the dead will fuck the Earth!

 

"Eveningside cemetery rests over one of the 6 gates to hell. Dawna, a girl who can't let go of her dead boyfriend visits his grave every chance she gets, and the night of the big halloween party is no exception, but what she doesn't know is that tonight the gates will open in this XXX zombie horror feature!!"

What in the crap? Who is this for? I like horror and porn just fine (who doesn't?), I don't want to watch the two of them together. Okay, maybe a playful horror spoof mixed with porn could work fine, but this looks pretty gross. I watched about 30 seconds of the trailer, but I stopped once I got to the zombie gag-rape part. Yikes...that was it for me. Pass.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Howling + Ninja III: The Domination coming to Blu-ray

Artist Nathan Thomas Milliner (who designed our key art for The Burning, Halloween III and several others) wows us again with his werewolf-filled and ferocious interpretation of 1981's THE HOWLING which is coming soon to DVD & Blu-ray this Summer. We even showed this to Director Joe Dante who said "Wow! Cool! I'd go see that picture!" More details on THE HOWLING (specific release date, etc.) will be coming soon in March. Pre-order at Amazon.

NINJA III: THE DOMINATION - the long-lost classic Cannon exploitation flick from 1984 - is coming to Shout Factory this June for the first time on DVD & Blu-ray! Pre-Order up at Amazon.




The Howling news is great, but expected, I mean it is The Howling, this should've come out a decade ago. I'm truly excited and surprised about the Ninja III news. That movie rules in ways I didn't know a movie could rule. That's a day one purchase for me.

Terrorvision/The Video Dead Blu-Ray Review


Terrorvision
"What the hell did that homo do to the jacuzz?"

Director: Ted Nicolaou
Writer: Ted Nicolaou
Runtime: 83 Minutes

Characters:
Stanley Putterman - Heiny drinker and erotic art collector
Raquel Putterman - Inexperienced swinger
Suzy Putterman - Super cute punk chick with absurd rainbow hair.
Sherman Putterman - 10-year old gun fanatic
Gramps - Former decorated war hero, current insane lunatic
O.D. - Very metal

After a mistake at the Planet Pluton Sanitation Department, the earthlings inhabiting the Putterman household are about to have a really weird night. The Plutons (Plutonians?) have developed a technology to convert their garbage (including their mutated housepets) into energy, which, like any responsible race would do, they beam off randomly into space, letting it land wherever the hell it lands. Their latest garbage energy beam manages to bounce around a bit before ultimately making it's way to a satellite dish on Earth.

Meanwhile, on Earth. Stanley Putterman (Geritt Graham, Phantom of the Paradise, Bud The Chud) and his wife Raquel (Mary Woronov, Rock 'n' Roll High School) are a pair of amateur swingers who have just purchased a high powered Do-It-Yourself 100 satellite dish. This new dish picks up crazy crap from allover the world; Random ninja movies. W.A.S.P. videos. Robot Monster. Ugly 80s porn. After showing their kids Sherman (Chad Allen, Dr. Quinn) and Suzy (Diane Franklin, Last American Virgin, Better Off Dead) the off the wall stuff this satellite can pick up they realize, holy crap, we're late for swinging. So Stan and Raq leave the kids with their Gramps and run off to pick up their swinging partners, homosexual Greek Spiro (Alejandro Rey, The Flying Nun) and busty moron Cherry (Randi Brooks, Hamburger The Motion Picture).

Texas Chainsaw 3D Blu-ray arrives May 14th

The pulse-pounding horror film, Texas Chainsaw, arrives on 3D/2D Blu-ray Disc (plus Digital Copy and Ultraviolet), DVD (plus Digital Copy and Ultraviolet), Video on Demand and Pay-Per-View on May 14 from Lionsgate Home Entertainment. Texas Chainsaw will also be available for Digital Download on April 30, three weeks prior to the Blu-ray, DVD and Video on Demand release. The film stars Alexandra Daddario (Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief), Dan Yeager (Metal Heads), Tremaine ‘Trey Songz’ Neverson (GRAMMY® nominated R&B International superstar), Tania Raymonde (TV’s “Malcolm in the Middle,” TV’s “Lost”), Shaun Sipos (The Grudge 2, Final Destination 2), Keram Malicki-Sanchez (American History X), James MacDonald (Phone Booth), Thom Barry (TV’s “Cold Case”), Paul Rae (True Grit) and Richard Riehle (Office Space). Also featuring special appearances from four beloved cast members from previous installments of the franchise: Gunnar Hansen (the original Leatherface), Marilyn Burns, John Dugan and Bill Moseley, Texas Chainsaw carries on the legacy of the shocking film, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, 39 years later.
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Texas Chainsaw continues the legendary story of the homicidal Sawyer family, picking up where Tobe Hooper’s 1974 horror classic left off.  In Newt, Texas, people have been going missing without a trace for decades.  Years later and hundreds of miles away from the original massacre, a young girl, Heather (Daddario), discovers that she has inherited a sprawling Texas estate from an unknown grandmother.  To claim her estate, Heather goes on a road trip with her friends to Newt, but learns that wealth comes at a price when she discovers the horror that waits in the cellar of her new mansion.
The Blu-ray and DVD features extensive bonus materials including audio commentaries, a look back at the history of the Texas Chainsaw series, exclusive interviews with the film’s director, producer and writers plus multiple behind-the-scenes featurettes. Texas Chainsaw will be available on Blu-ray Disc and DVD for the suggested retail price of $39.99 and $29.95, respectively.
BLU-RAY/DVD SPECIAL FEATURES*
  • Audio commentary with producer Carl Mazzocone and filmmaker Tobe Hooper.
  • Special “Chainsaw Alumni” audio commentary with stars Bill Moseley, Gunnar Hansen, Marilyn Burns and John Dugan.
  • “Texas Chainsaw Legacy” featurette – A look back at the history and 40 year legacy of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre series with filmmaker Tobe Hooper.
  • “Resurrecting The Saw” featurette – A look at the development of Texas Chainsaw with Director John Luessenhop, Producer Carl Mazzocone and Writers Adam Marcus, Debra Sullivan, Kirsten Elms and Stephen Susco.
  • “The Old Homestead” featurette – A detailed look at the re-creation of the shooting location from the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre with Production Designer William A. Elliott and cast members (and Chainsaw series alumni) Bill Moseley, Gunnar Hansen, Marilyn Burns and John Dugan.
  • “Casting Terror” featurette – Interviews with the cast including Alexandra Daddario, Trey Songz, Tania Reynolds, Keram Malicki-Sanchez, Kyle Eastwood, Sean Sipos and others.
  • “Leatherface 2013″ featurette – An interview with Leatherface actor Dan Yeager on his interpretation of this legendary role, along with a look at the creation of Leatherface’s costume, mask and signature chainsaw.
  • “Lights, Camera, Mayhem” featurette – A look at the film’s 3D photography with Director of Photography Anastas Michos along with a look at the creation of several sequences from the film.
  • “It’s in the Meat” featurette – An detailed look at the film’s grisly special make-up effects with Make-Up Effects Supervisor Robert Kurtzman, and Make-Up Artists  Alex Diaz and Mike McCarty
  • On-Set Short Subjects: Five Minute Massacres
    • Burning Down The House
    • Trapped in the Van
    • Carnival Time
    • Leatherface In Action
    • Hot Times In Louisiana
    • Bloody Good Times

I actually caught this one in the theater earlier this year. Dumb as hell, but a lot of fun in my opinion. Even if you didn't like the movie (which a lot of people didn't), looks like a ton of great features. I'm especially interested in the recreation of the original Chain Saw house.

Interesting that it's coming out as a digital download a couple of weeks earlier than the proper Blu-ray and DVD releases. I'm personally against paying for a digital copy of something, as a collector I really need to own the physical media if I'm paying for something.

Gorgon-zola





Tuesday, February 26, 2013

24-Hour Criterion Flash Sale


Head over to the Criterion site and use promo code FLASHY to get 50% Off all in stock titles. Free shipping over $50.

I highly recommend Eclipse Series 37: When Horror Came to Shochiku The picture quality isn't mind-blowing, however every film in this set is a winner in my opinion, especially The Living Skeleton and Goke, Body Snatcher From Hell.

Also, anyone who doesn't own a copy of House needs to own a copy of House. 

Monday, February 25, 2013

Final Girl - A Trailer For A Film By Tyler Shields



Birdemic: Resurrected

For the love of God, why? And how? And for who?



It looks like James Nguyen, Master of the Romantic Thriller at least did a better job with the sound this time. I actually couldn't make it through Birdemic, even with Mike and the bots Rifftraxing it, not because of the terribleness of it all but because the way the sound was recorded actually gave me a huge headache.

You can catch this turkey in theaters (I assume in very select cities only) starting in April.

Drive-In Collection: Savage Water/Death By Invitation Review


Savage Water


Director: Paul Kener
Writer: Kipp Boden (screenplay)
Stars: Gil Van Waggoner, Ron Berger, Bridget Agnew
Runtime: 95 Minutes
AR: 1.85:1
Considered by the few people who have actually seen it to be one of the worst slashers ever made, Savage Water is one hell of a weird movie. Boring, uneventful and lengthy, but at turns completely rife with hilariously stupid dialogue. It's one of the rarest slashers out there (never released on VHS or DVD in the US) and this DVD put out by Vinegar Syndrome is the first chance most people will have to see this movie in 35 years.

The setup is pretty simple, a large group of tourists endure a doomed white water rafting trip. That's really all there is to it. As I mentioned, this is considered a slasher, though there is very little in the way of slashing. Several of the people's deaths are their own fault. The first 3 deaths are fall related. Of these 3 falling deaths 2 are accidental. Another person is poisoned. We don't have a proper slashing until the 69 minute mark. And there isn't another one after that. There are plenty of deaths, this just never felt all that slasher-like in my opinion.


Vinegar Syndrome's Drive-In Collection Continues

Vinegar Syndrome has posted the details of the next two releases of their Drive-In Collection line.



NOTE: Pre-orders will begin in March for this release.

Two sexploitation shockers packed with thrilling action, sensuous romance, and a bevy of beautiful starlets who do everything to please!

The Suckers (1972)
Lost for years, this sex filled version of THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME has finally been found! A group of thrill-seekers are caught in a web of sex and violence as they fight for their lives while being hunted by a group of madmen.
Director: Arthur Byrd
80 minutes / Color / AR: 1.85:1

The Love Garden (1971)
A love triangle unfolds between a young writer, obsessed with his beautiful neighbor who, unbeknownst to him, is involved in a lesbian relationship.
Director: Mark Haggard
70 minutes / Color / AR: 1.37:1

Features Include:
+ Dual Layer DVD-9 | Region Free | 16:9 Anamorphic & 4:3 Standard | 1.85:1 & 1.37:1 AR | MONO
+ 2k scan from 35mm theatrical prints






NOTE: Pre-orders will begin in March for this release.


Two early exploitation gems which prove that even before the golden age of the grindhouse, cinematic sleaze could still pack a nasty wallop.

Anatomy of a Psycho (1960)
In this early exploitation classic, the brother of a convicted murder set to be executed
takes revenge against the people he believes were responsible for his brother’s demise.
Director: Boris Petroff
80 minutes / Black & White / AR: 1.37:1

The Lonely Sex (1959)
In an odd blending of psychodrama, thriller and light sexploitation, a lonely outcast kidnaps a young woman and holds her hostage in a rural shack while a violent peeping tom goes about his daily routine.
Director: Richard Hillard
57 minutes / Black & White / AR: 1.37:1

Features Include:
+ Dual Layer DVD-9 | Region Free | 4:3 Standard | 1.37:1 AR | MONO
+ 2k scan from 35mm theatrical prints

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Vacation

Just a heads up, I'll be on vacation starting Friday and I'll be back to posting Tuesday. I have limited internet access where I'm staying so I won't be able to post while I'm there. I'll be taking a few screener discs and my laptop, so I'll try and knock a couple of reviews and stuff out while I'm gone.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Ocular Annihilation

I came across this amazing poster for the upcoming film Would You Rather with Brittany Snow, Jeffrey Combs and Sasha Grey. Looking at this poster one could be mistake it as a poster for either an Un Chien Andalou remake or a New York Ripper remake. Or not, I don't know what I'm talking about.

IE Problems?

For some crazy reason I decided to check this site on Internet Explorer a few minutes ago. If anyone out there is using IE to view this site, does everything look okay? I saw a few posts kind of smashed together and wanted to make sure it's just me who is experiencing this.

Bates Gets Serialized

Coming March from A&E



I'm not so sure Bates Motel is a great idea. It doesn't look like a horrible show, but I think most of us have learned it's best not to know the back story on all of these villains. We didn't care what happened in Anakin Skywalker's youth to make him become Darth Vader. We didn't care why Micheal Myers turned out to be a maniac in Rob Zombie's Halloween. Likewise, I think A&E will find out, we don't really care about how Norman Bates became a psycho.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Today's Horror Releases

Just a heads up, some pretty cool horror Blu-rays coming out today.

https://www.shoutfactory.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/product_full/TV_VD_BRDVDCover72dpi.jpg
TWO TALES OF TELEVISION TERROR!

TERRORVISION
Life will never be the same for the Putterman family in Terrorvision. Stanley Putterman (Gerrit Graham) installs a state-of-the-art satellite dish in his backyard. Through a cosmic accident, a wayward monster's energy is beamed across galaxies, into the satellite and onto the Puttermans' television set. The Puttermans don't notice any changes, only better reception and a strange monster continually appearing on the screen. But when the monster leaps off the screen and into the Puttermans' living room, terror erupts, as it needs to feed on humans for its survival!

THE VIDEO DEAD
On a quiet, tree-lined street, evil has arrived in a most ordinary way, an old television set. It receives a single channel, one that not only shows the same film over and over – a horror film where zombies rise from the grave to kill – but also frees the gnarled, evil monsters….and once out, they’re not going back! They like the real world. They’ve already killed five people and want more blood…and a new family is moving into the neighborhood!


Browse more frighteningly fun Scream Factory releases!


Bonus features:

TERRORVISION:



  • Audio Commentary with Writer/Director Ted Nicolaou and Stars Diane Franklin and Jon Gries
  • Monsters on Demand: The Making of “TERRORVISION” - An all-new retrospective with Writer/Director Ted Nicolaou, Stars Gerrit Graham, Mary Woronov, Diane Franklin, Jon Gries, Chad Allen, Ian Patrick Williams, Special Make-up Effects Creator John Carl Buechler, Special Effects Artist Cleve Hall, Executive Producer Charles Band, and Composer Richard Band
  • Poster & Still Gallery

    THE VIDEO DEAD:
  • Audio Commentary with Writer/Producer/Director Robert Scott, Editor Bob Sarles, and Special Make-up Effects Creator Dale Hall, Jr.
  • Audio Commentary with stars Roxanna Augesen and Rocky Duvall, Production Manager Jacques Thelemaque, and Make-up Assistant Patrick Denver
  • Pre-recorDEAD - All new interviews with Make-up effects creator Dale Hall, Jr. and Make-up Assistant Patrick Denver
  • Theatrical Trailer
  • Poster and Still Gallery
  • Behind-the-Scenes Still Gallery


  • Prison
    Creedmore Prison becomes a supernatural battleground when the specter of Charlie Forsythe, a man executed for murder, returns seeking vengeance from the brutal guard, Ethan Sharpe, who was aware of his innocence. The lives of the inmates hang in the balance as Forsythe and Sharpe lock in demonic combat. Directed by Renny Harlin (Cliffhanger, A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master, Deep Blue Sea). Starring Viggo Mortensen (A History Of Violence, Eastern Promises), Chelsea Field (Dust Devil, The Dark Half) and Lane Smith (Red Dawn).


    Browse more frighteningly fun Scream Factory releases!

    Bonus Features:



  • Audio Commentary with Director Renny Harlin
  • Hard Time: The Making of “Prison” – An all-new retrospective with Director Renny Harlin, Producer Irwin Yablans, Screenwriter C. Courtney Joyner, Actor Tom Everett, Stunt Coordinator Kane Hodder, Special Makeup Effects Creator John Carl Buechler, Executive Producer Charles Band, Composer Richard Band, Production Designer Philip Duffin, and Production Assistant Patrick Denver
  • U.S. Theatrical Trailer
  • Poster & Still Gallery
  • Original First-Draft Screenplay (PDF format)


  • The Nest
    Roaches have never tasted flesh…until now.

    The quiet town of North Port is being overrun by cockroaches! Sheriff Tarbell (Franc Luz) believes that genetic experiments being conducted by the INTEC Corporation are the cause. Confronted with a potential disaster, Mayor Johnson (Robert Lansing) calls for help.

    When Dr. Hubbard (Terri Treas) from INTEC arrives, she realizes that an innocent experiment has gone terribly wrong. Ordinary cockroaches are turning into creatures with a taste for blood. Worse, the roaches are genetically mutating... literally becoming whatever they eat!

    NOTE: The release date for this title has been pushed back from the original 1/22/13 due to some additional unforeseen audio work that must be done.  We apologize for any inconvenience.


     The Monster Squad (Blu-Ray) *
    You know whom to call when you have ghosts. But who do you call when you have monsters? The Monster Squad – A group of young kids devoted to protecting their suburban neighborhood from monsters and ghouls. Count Dracula (Duncan Regehr) escapes Van Helsing (Jack Gwillim) and adjourns modern day Earth, accompanied by Frankenstein’s Monster (Tom Noonan), the Wolfman (Carl Thibault), the Mummy (Michael MacKay) and the Black Lagoon’s Gillman (Tom Woodruff Jr.). The ghouls are in search of a powerful amulet that will grant them power to rule the world. Standing in their way – The Monster Squad! Produced by Peter Hyams (2010), written by Shane Black (Lethal Weapon) and Fred Dekker (Night of the Creeps) and directed by Fred Dekker.


    Night of the Demons 2 (Blu-Ray)
    It's Halloween and the teenagers from St. Rita's High School want to party at the neighborhood's haunted house. For years, the Hull House has sat in eerie silence - tales of its haunted past have turned into gory jokes and no one really believes anything ever happened there. However, Angela, the hostess from hell is summoning her army of teen demons to the blood-curdling contest between the school's priests and herself, the princess of darkness. What was intended as an innocent evening of fun and games turns into hell raising, life threatening ordeal. they wanted fun, now they're in the trick-or-treat party of their lives! Stylishly directed by Brian Trenchard-Smith (Leprechaun 4: In Space).

                      _______________________________________________________

    The only one I've ordered so far is Terrorvision/Video Dead. I'll post a review of that probably next week as I'm going on vacation in a couple of days.

    I love The Monster Squad, but I canceled my preorder when I read that this new Monster Squad release is missing all of the extra features found on the original  Lion's Gate blu-ray. Sadly, that one is out of print, so it's a bit costly and will probably rise since this new release is lacking any features. I have the old DVD set that is loaded with extras and I thought $20 for a completely extra free blu-ray of something I already have was a bit much. I'm not a huge A/V guy, so as long as it doesn't look like someone wiped their ass with the transfer I'm fine.

    I also love Night of the Demons 2, Christine Taylor making out with a girl, an ass-kicking nun and Morbid Angel on the soundtrack. What more could you ask for? Sadly, this one comes equipped with $25 price tag and I'm not up for throwing down that much for Night of the Demons 2.  Now a Night of the Demons/Night of the Demons 2 double feature...

    Monday, February 18, 2013

    Sunday, February 17, 2013

    FDR - American Badass - A Gargantuan Pile of Fuckery

    It's President's Day in a couple of hours, so I've decided to review something presidential. I could've checked out something like Lincoln or JFK, but that's really not my style. I decided, with some regret, to check out FDR - American Badass.



    Directors: Garret Brawith
    Writer: Ross Patterson
    Stars: Barry Bostwick, Lin Shaye, Bruce McGill, Ray Wise, Ross Patterson
    Runtime: 93 Minutes
    Rated: R for Nazi Werewolves, Incessant White Guy Jive Talk, Stuttering Wheelchair Children, Third Reich Beer Pong


    While on a bear hunting trip Governor Franklin Delano Roosevelt (Barry Bostwick) and friends are attacked by a blond werewolf in a flannel shirt. Two of his friends are ripped to shit by the werewolf. The wolf goes after Franklin next, pins him to the ground and goes straight for his legs. After being mauled for a bit Frank is able to wrestle the werewolf off long enough to pull a gun out and kill him with a silver bullet.

    Afterwards in the hospital, FDR learns that it wasn't just any werewolf that bit him, it was a polio stricken Nazi werewolf, and he has contracted polio from the bites on his legs. At first he's upset, but Roosevelt was not the kind of guy who was going to let some kind of pussy disease like polio get in his way. So hops in his wheelchair and becomes President of the United States of America. I mean, he had to run for office and everything, he wasn't instantly sworn in the second his ass hit the chair.

    Shortly after Roosevelt's election Hitler, Mussolini, and Emperor Hirohito (who are all werewolves for some reason) join up and conspire to spread Werewolfism around the world. In a possible nod to The Amazing Mr. No Legs, Douglas MacArthur (Ray Wise) sets Frank up with a machine gun equipped wheelchair so he can take out the werewolf scum.

    This is pretty entertaining for about 20 minutes, Bostwick has some great lines and he really seems to be having a good time with this role. The opening scene with the Aryan werewolf is pretty great. The following scene of Franklin learning of his condition in the hospital is also very entertaining. There are so many funny lines that I lost count, including a great Bon Jovi lyric bit that shouldn't have made me laugh as hard as it did.

    That being said, holy shit this thing really just goes careening off the rails once Roosevelt becomes president. It just becomes more awful, and the comedy more broad as it goes along. Once I got to FDR smoking a joint with the ghost of Lincoln (played by Kevin Sorbo) I was done. I did finish the movie, I just didn't give a shit anymore.

    There are still some funny lines throughout the movie but for every cute line like a sarcastic "Good work, Einstein!" actually being said to Albert Einstein (and later by Albert Einstein to himself), you have to endure several minutes of Bostwick and Ray Wise spouting off stupid jive talk to each other. We've been putting up with lame white people talking like cool black people jokes since at least Airplane, when will people stop thinking this is funny?

    The bad comedy didn't stop there. I could go on for a while here, but I'll just mention a few things that bothered me the most. The "repube" joke didn't land the first time, or the 7th time. Or the 10th time. Werewolf Hitler, Werewolf Mussolini and Emperor Horohito is funnier on paper apparently because I didn't get a laugh out of any of the several scenes featuring the lycanthropian dictators. Then we have Roosevelt's son constantly shitting in vases, gay gloryhole jokes, toilet wine, Frank's secretary erotically licking ketchup (catsup?) and mustard off of his hot dog-like legs...I'm all for offensive humor, the problem is that this stuff is just not funny.

    I watched this on Netflix streaming, so if you have a chance to see it for free I recommend it for about the first 20 minutes only. I would suggest having a backup movie lined up just in case.

    I give FDR American Badass 1 Middle Finger Up. Or 3.5 out of 10.

    Good news for anyone who enjoyed this, writer Ross Patterson has teamed up with Bostwick once again for Helen Keller vs. Nightwolves due out some time this year.

    Lifeforce and Vampire Lovers Blu-Ray

    Following March's From Beyond and Phantasm II releases, Scream Factory will be unleashing Lifeforce and The Vampire Lovers on Blu-ray April 30th

    From the Press Release:
    Horror/sci-fi enthusiasts and movie collectors, rejoice! SCREAM FACTORY™ will unleash the special effects extravaganza LIFEFORCE from director Tobe Hooper (The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, Poltergeist) and THE VAMPIRE LOVERS from Hammer Film Productions on April 30, 2013. These two much-loved cult film classics debut for the first time on Blu-ray. LIFEFORCE will be presented as a Collector’s Edition Blu-ray™ + DVD combo pack that boasts the rare original theatrical version of the film (available on the Blu-ray disc only) and its longer international cut, plus newly rendered retro-style artwork and a reversible wrap with original theatrical key art. Both home entertainment collections of LIFEFORCE and THE VAMPIRE LOVERS feature high-definition anamorphic widescreen presentations and new exciting bonus content!
    LIFEFORCE Collector’s Edition Blu-ray™ + DVD combo pack is priced to own at $29.93; THE VAMPIRE LOVERS Blu-ray™ has a suggested retail price of $19.97.
    ***Avid horror movie fans and collectors take note: Those who order LIFEFORCE from Scream Factory will receive the exclusive 18”x24” poster featuring the newly commissioned artwork. Only 300 posters will be printed, so these are available while supplies last.***

    LIFEFORCE Collector’s Edition Blu-ray™ + DVD Combo Pack
    From the director of Poltergeist and the co-writer of Alien comes a thrilling sci-fi adventure of explosive action and pulse-pounding suspense! With mind-blowing special effects by Academy Award® winner John Dykstra (1977 Best Visual Effects, Star Wars), Lifeforce is a gripping mélange of genres that’s “so bizarre, it’s fascinating” (Leonard Maltin)!
    A mission to investigate Halley's Comet discovers an even stranger phenomenon: an alien spacecraft! Following a deadly confrontation, the aliens arrive on Earth, where their seductive leader begins a terrifying campaign to drain the lifeforce of everyone she encounters. Her victims, in turn, continue the cycle, and soon the entire planet is in mortal danger. And when the mission's sole survivor (Steve Railsback – The Stunt Man) sets out to destroy her, he comes face to face with the most charming - and horrifying – being he's ever known. Will he be able to destroy the lovely vampiress...or will he become yet another victim of her fatal charm?
    Special Features



  • Both Theatrical & International Versions (Theatrical cut available on the Blu-ray only.)
  • New Audio Commentary with Director Tobe Hooper
  • New Retrospective with Cast & Crew including Star Steve Railsback, Director Tobe Hooper and others!
  • Original vintage “Making-Of Lifeforce” Featurette
  • Original Theatrical Trailer
  • TV Spot
  • Still Gallery
  • And more to be announced!

    THE VAMPIRE LOVERS Blu-ray™
    A female vampire with lesbian tendencies ravages the young girls and townsfolk of a peaceful hamlet in eighteenth century Europe who, years earlier, killed off her fellow vampires. A rousing hunt for the vampiress ensues as a group of men follow her bloody trail of terror through the countryside. Adapted from J. Sheridan LeFanu's novella "Carmilla," The Vampire Lovers stars Ingrid Pitt, George Cole and Peter Cushing.
    Now this “rather erotic Hammer chiller” (Leonard Maltin) appears on Blu-ray for the first time… If you dare, come into a twilight world of unspeakable horror and taste the deadly passion of the blood-nymphs!

    Special Features
  • Feature Length Commentary with Roy Ward Baker (Director), Tudor Gates (Writer) and Ingrid Pitt (Carmilla) moderated by Jonathan Sothcott.
  • Excerpts from the novella Carmilla, which inspired the film, read by Ingrid Pitt
  • Original Theatrical Trailer
  • New Interview with Madeline Smith (Emma)
  • New Interviews with Hammer Films Scholars
  • Original Radio Spot

  • Visit the Scream Factory website to preorder today.

    Scream Factory presents From Beyond and Phantasm II



    This spring 2013, Scream Factory further invites horror enthusiasts and movie collectors to feast their eyes on more gory goodness and spark their senses when Don Coscarelli’s PHANTASM II Collector’s Edition unleashes on Blu-ray and DVD on March 5, 2013; and H.P. Lovecraft’s FROM BEYOND Collector’s Edition – Unrated Director’s Cut Blu-ray + DVD combo pack hits home entertainment shelves everywhere on March 26, 2013.
    Both movies debut for the first time on Blu-ray. Each collector’s edition feature anamorphic widescreen presentation, exciting bonus content, newly rendered retro-style artwork, a reversible wrap with theatrical key art and more! FROM BEYOND Collector’s Edition – Unrated Director’s Cut Blu-ray + DVD combo pack is priced to own at $29.93; PHANTASM II Collector’s Edition Blu-ray has a suggested retail price of $29.93 and $19.93 for the DVD.
    **Avid horror movie fans and collectors take note: Those who pre-order PHANTASM II and/or FROM BEYOND from Scream Factory will receive the respective exclusive 18”x24” poster featuring the newly commissioned artwork! Only 500 PHANTASM II posters will be printed, 300 posters for FROM BEYOND, so these are only available while supplies last.**



    FROM BEYOND Collector’s Edition – Unrated Director’s Cut:
    Humans are such easy prey.
    H.P. Lovecraft's classic tale of suspense became "a grisly amalgam of sex, shock and satire" (Newsweek) in the hands of the creators of Re-Animator. And now, armed with shocking never-before-seen footage and special features and on Blu-ray for the first time, this "bloody good entertainment" (Time) has evolved into one of the most gruesomely riveting film experiences of all time!
    The Resonator, a powerful machine that can control the sixth sense, has killed its creator and sent his associate into an insane asylum. But when a beautiful psychiatrist becomes determined to continue the experiment, she unwittingly opens the door to a hostile parallel universe... and to the deviant behavior within the human psyche. With its victims becoming creatures who feed on - and become aroused by - human brains, the Resonator is the ultimate man-made monster. And now something's gone horribly wrong and no one can turn it off!
    Special Features
    ALL-NEW SCREAM FACTORY EXTRAS:



  • Audio Commentary with writer Dennis Paoli
  • MULTIPLE DIMENSIONS – A look at the film’s extensive Make-Up & Creature Effects with Special Effects Creators John Buechler, Anthony Doublin, John Naulin, and Mark Shostrom (20 mins)
  • PAGING DR. MCMICHAELS – An interview with Actress Barbara Crampton (15 mins)
  • A TORTURED SOUL – An interview with Actor Jeffrey Combs (15 mins)
  • AN EMPIRE PRODUCTION – An interview with Executive Producer Charles Band (5 mins) EXTRAS CARRIED OVER FROM THE MGM 2007 DVD RELEASE:
  • Audio Commentary with director Stuart Gordon and the cast
  • THE DIRECTOR’S PERSPECTIVE - interview with Stuart Gordon
  • THE EDITING ROOM: LOST AND FOUND - Gordon Stuart and MGM restoration team interview
  • Interview with composer Richard Band
  • Storyboard to Film Comparisions with Introduction
  • Two photo galleries

    PHANTASM II Collector’s Edition:
    The Tall Man is back with a vengeance in Phantasm II, the second chapter in the cult classic Phantasm series!
    Released after seven years in a mental hospital, Mike convinces his old pal Reggie to join forces with him to hunt down and destroy The Tall Man once and for all. Mike's visions lead the two to a quiet little town where a horde of flying killer balls aim to slice and dice their gruesome way through everyone.
    Exploding with special effects, unparalleled thrills, horror and suspense, Phantasm II climaxes with a blood-curdling conclusion that you have to see to believe.
    Special Features
  • Audio Commentary with director/writer Don Coscarelli and actors Angus Scrimm and Reggie Banister
  • “The Ball is Back!” Documentary – featuring new interviews with writer/director Don Coscarelli, actors Reggie Banister, Angus Scrimm, Paula Irvine, Samantha Phillips and more!
  • Vintage Behind the Scenes footage: Makeup Effects
  • Vintage Behind the Scenes footage: On the Set
  • “The Gory Days with Greg Nicotero” Featurette
  • Deleted Scenes from archival film elements from Don Coscarelli’s archive
  • Additional Scenes – alternate takes and deleted gore footage from the workprint
  • Original TV Spots
  • Trailers for Phantasm , Phantasm II & Phantasm III
  • Still Galleries (Behind the Scenes , Makeup Effects , Hollywood Premiere )
  • Rare short film starring Rory Guy (aka Angus Scrimm) as Abraham Lincoln
  • Druillet does Rollin

    This is a set of gorgeous posters by French artist Philippe Druillet for Jean Rollin films La vampire nue, Le viol du vampire and Le frisson des vampires.
      
    The Nude Vampire (1970) - La vampire nue (original title)
     

    The Rape of the Vampire (1968) - Le viol du vampire (original title)


    Strange Things Happen at Night (1971) - Le frisson des vampires (original title)


    Stitches - You'll Die Laughing

     
    Director: Conor McMahon
    Writer:  Conor McMahon, David O'Brien
    Stars: Tommy Knight, Gemma-Leah Devereux, Ross Noble, Valeri Spelman
    Runtime: 86 Minutes
    Rated: R for Ice Cream Scoop Neurosurgery, High Heel Tracheotomy, Clown Shoes 


    Stitches marks the film debut of English comedian Ross Noble. Noble plays professional clown Richard “Stitches” Grindle - about the worst fucking clown you'll ever see. He arrives to entertain children at a boy named Tom's birthday party. Stitches is my favorite type of clown, the type of clown who always looks forlorn, like he's just moments away from blowing his brains out. He's as unenthusiastic about performing his tricks as the kids are about watching him. Throughout his performance the kids are mean and disinterested, they throw things at him, one of the girls gives him the finger. These kids, like most kids would be during a terrible clown act, are basically total douchebags the whole time. During a trick, one of the kids named Vinny sneaks behind Stitches and ties his shoelaces together. Tom takes a soccer ball and hits Stiches in the face sending him tumbling backwards. He trips and falls face first onto a huge butcher knife that was left blade up in the dishwasher for some reason.


    After his death we learn there is some kind of strange voodoo clown council, led by a Paul Giamatti looking guy. They meet in an old mausoleum and perform some goofy ritual involving painted eggs. Tom witnesses this ritual and the clown cabal warns Tom that a clown that doesn't finish a party can never rest in peace.


    Six years later, Tom is still haunted by the incindent. He sees visions of clowns roaming the hallways at school. He even daydreams of a clown dis-membering Vinny during science class. Tom's 16th birthday is fast  approaching and he decides, fuck that clown council noise, I'm having a party. The party goes pretty well at first, but before long Stitches the clown returns from the grave to exact his revenge on Tom and his friends.

    That's really all there is for the set up. Very basic The Burning style slasher motive, prank goes wrong, the prankee seeks revenge. I'm normally not big on clown horror. I've never really found clowns frightening, and I don't like the look of them, so I've never really liked them as horror villains. However, here it actually works quite well. Director Conor McMahon (Dead Meat, 2004) has filled his film with some truly striking imagery and  inventive murder scenes. This thing gets quite gory, and the best part, aside from an umbrella through the skull bit and an eye socket knifing most of the gore seems to be practical effects, including some brain scooping, intestinal balloon dogs, and a truly hilarious exploding head effect.


    While not every effect quite works and some jokes don't quite land (and don't get me started on the absurdity of the clown council stuff) I found this to be a very entertaining way to kill 86 minutes. Slasher fans, check it out. 7/10.

    Things to watch for:
    Girl on girl headbutt
    Strawberry Pie Filling Overdose
    World's first slasher with gag reel over the end credits
    I didn't catch her name, but this chick:




    April Fools' Day screenings in select cities on April 1, 2013. For fans who can't catch the rampage on the big screen, STITCHES will be available on VOD, Digital Download, Blu-ray and DVD on April 2 from MPI /Dark Sky Films.

    Sexcula

    Sexcula_webcov

    Sexcula [DVD]

    Director: Bob Hollowich
    Starring: Debbie Collins, Jamie Orlando, John Alexander, Tim Lowery

    Run Time: 86 minutes
    Release Date: April 9, 2013
    Language: English
    Aspect Ratio: 1.33:1 Full-Frame Presentation
    Format: DVD
    Region: All Regions

    Price: $24.95

    Synopsis

    “Those Evil Deeds of the Countess…SEXCULA!”
    SEXCULA is a skin flick of legendary lost status. Shot in Vancouver, British Columbia, it was screened once before disappearing and sought after by cult aficionados for decades. Now, Impulse Pictures is proud to bring you the world premiere of SEXCULA.  Sex film fans can finally get a look at this elusive crazy Canadian erotic/horror hybrid for the first time ever.

    Starring a Marilyn Chambers lookalike in dual roles as Countess Sexcula, a buxom cutie with no qualms about lying nude on a table for the entire movie, and a horny bride who can’t wait for her ring.  The nudity and sex are delivered nonstop in this campy horror romp. Watch in amazement at the naked picnic, the “girl-on-gorilla” strip tease, and stare in awe as a female pleasure-robot puts the plot into a time warp!
    Bizarre only begins to describe… SEXCULA!

    Features

    • Digital (1.33:1) Transfer from the ONLY Remaining Theatrical Print Stored in the Basement of the Canadian Film Archives
    • Original Theatrical Trailer
    • Liner Notes from Porn Archaeologist Dimitrios Otis
    It's so great that companies are still cranking out fascinating obscurities like this one. I'm hoping they can manage to release Spermula at some point, I've wanted to see that since reading about it in The Essential Monster Movie Guide.

    Tokyo Species - Like Species, but Japaneseir





    Director: Nozomu Kasagi
    Stars: Maria Ozawa , Tomonori Kôno, Marika Minam, 
    Runtime: 70 Minutes
    Rated: R for Death by Copulation, Nudity, and uh, Egg....Pooping?

    Today I tried something I have never done before. I've just watched an un-subtitled Japanese movie. No big deal for Japanese speaking individuals, however I do not speak Japanese. I can say "thank you" and I think I used to know how to say love or hello. That's it. I was sucked in by the awesome poster art, but when I sat down to watch it, oops, no subtitles. But I still wanted to see it, so I powered through and tried to just figure it out on my own. Luckily the plot of this was pretty straight forward, so it wasn't too difficult to follow.



    As you can guess from the title, this is sort of Japan's take on Species. Only with 1/100th the budget and 2/3rds of the running time. Tokyo Species stars renowned Japanese/French Canadian adult star Maria Ozawa. I think her character might be called Michiko, but even the IMDB listing doesn't list character names, so since I'm not 100% sure, I will refer to her as Maria.

    The movie opens with a close-up of Maria in a schoolgirl outfit.  Maria Ozawa is like 27 years old, how long do Japanese people go to school? Anyway she climbs over a rail on a bridge and jumps to her death. We never actually find out why she does this as her character does not speak one time throughout the entire movie. A moment later her bloodied body washes ashore. The camera circles around the body for and after a minute or so the view changes to a alien creature POV shot. This alien is a bit of a perv because it stops to look up her skirt for a minute before moving onto her face where it then enters her mouth. This sounds pretty pornographic, it's not.


    Later, on the way to school she is bullied by some girls, because as we all know beautiful girls are constantly bullied. After school she brings a random guy home, and like in Species she starts to have sex with the guy only to kill him halfway through by impaling him with a spine-y tentacle that shoots out of her arm. So Maria starts sex murdering dudes left and right all through town. At this point it would seem that Maria is trying to wipe out the whole male portion of Japan with her sexiness. She's actually using these guys to impregnate herself so she can give birth to her alien spawn. At least, that explains the sex part. I actually have no idea why she's killing everybody.



    After missing class the next day- probably due to her busy schedule of sex murdering - Maria's friend from school goes to her house to check up on her. What she doesn't know is a mysterious new student has followed her there. The new student turns out be an alien hunter (with some pretty lousy aim) and she knows that a sex alien has inhabited Maria's body, and she has a weapon that can stop it. Maria is able to escape the alien hunter's attack, now she has to track her down before she kills again.


    This is director Nozomu Kasagi's first feature. Although clocking in at 66 minutes before the end credits this really just feels like an extended tv show episode. Actually, if Japan has a Sci-Fi channel, this seems like what they would show. There is a bit of nudity, though not as much as you'd think a movie with a porn star for a lead actress would have. There are a lot of deaths, but the death scenes mostly consist of quick CGI impalements with a bit of blood splatter.

    It's a decent movie, but with such a short running time there just really isn't much to it to sink your teeth into. Recommended probably only to people who absolutely have to see every Japanese horror and sci-fi movie that comes out. I think most anybody else would find it on the dull side. Still, that cover art is awesome.


    I have to say, watching a foreign movie without the help of subtitles is hard. I'm so used to subtitles that I lost count of the number of times my eyes shot to the bottom of the screen to read the subtitles that weren't there.

    Saturday, February 16, 2013

    The Wizard of Gore - In Devastating Color

    The Wizard of Gore
    "Me a ghoul? You're the one who wanted to see pictures of human ravioli for dessert."


    Director: Herschell Gordon Lewis
    Writer:Allen Kahn
    Stars: Ray Sager, Judy Cler, Wayne Ratay
    Runtime: 140 Minutes
    Rated: NR for Chainsaw Evisceration, 1 Head in a Wicker Basket, Forceful Sword Swallowing, HypnoVision


    Sherry Carson is the host of the Housewives Coffee Break on NBC 17. She and her sports writer boyfriend Jack attend a magic show featuring Montag the Magnificent (played by Lewis regular Ray Sager). Montag is a very theatrical, intense weirdo, complete with top hat and cape. Classic weirdo. He spouts a lengthy monologue about dreams and reality, not unlike the kind of talk you might hear from a bunch of stoned hippies around a camp fire late at night. I hate to be negative right away, but I have to say this monologue was pretty long and repetitive. In fact I may have dozed off had Montag not kept shouting his lines.

    After this monologue, and a pretty neat self-guillotine trick, he uses hypnosis to get a female volunteer from the audience for the classic sawing a woman in half bit. Montag does this trick a little differently. Instead of putting the woman in a box and using a hacksaw, he does it out in the open, on a table, with a chainsaw. He cuts the woman's stomach open and she lets out a blood curdling scream and dies on the table. Montag starts riffling through her guts like he's dropped his keys in there. After a classic 30 second H.G. lingering gore shot the next second the woman is perfectly fine. Her dress and stomach are completely un-chainsawed. The crowd goes wild... for about 10 seconds, then everyone just stands up, and quietly leaves without anyone saying anything. It's an awkward way to end a show.

    Shortly after the show the female volunteer goes to a restaurant, and before she even gets her drink order in she drops dead in the middle of the room with the exact same gaping chainsaw wound from the show. 


    Sherry, being blown away by Montag's performance wants him to appear on her show. At first he refuses, but after realizing he could hypnotize the entire Housewives Coffee Break over the air he agrees. So over the next several nights Jack and Sherry see Montag's show, and every volunteer from each show turns up dead by the same method used in the show. One girl has a large spike driven through her skull and has her brains removed. Another has a punch press rip through her torso.

    Jack and Sherry become involved with the police to try and figure out just what the hell is going on with Montag the Magnificent and his deranged brand of magic. 

    The Wizard of Gore is leisurely paced and about 15-20 minutes too long. At about the hour mark I checked the time and was stunned to see another 40 minutes left in the running time. It's longer than I'm used with H.G. Lewis movies, I think it just caught me off guard. Although I think A Taste of Blood is a full 2 hours, so Wizard isn't his longest.

    It's pretty talky, especially when Sager is onscreen. He really seemed to be having a great time hamming it up while wearing a cape and playing with ladies' guts. 
     



    The movie does deliver the gore. Once we get beyond one of the all-time worst fake heads the world has ever seen, the gore is graphic and lingering. It's even almost a bit sickening at times. In addition to the gore, Wizard also rewards patience viewers with an amazing and absurd  final 10 minutes. You'll be confused as hell, but it's still pretty awesome.

    Overall I enjoyed it, though out of the 6 Lewis movies I've seen (this, Blood Feast, 2,000 Maniacs, Color Me Blood Red, Something Weird and Blood Feast 2) I'd probably rank this my 5th favorite right before Blood Feast 2.


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